Social Norm

http://nationalpostnews.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/morocco.jpg?w=620

Feminist Protest in Morocco Sparked By Amina's Suicide

Women's subjugation is not directly encouraged by either sex. Instead it is society's expectations that often determine whether women are albe to thrive in their community.

In The Handmaid's Tale, women are instructed to be compliant by Aunts and other heads of a society that believes women are inferior to men. In Jasmine, we compare the contrasting depictions of women's role in India and America. Jyoti, the Indian women is brought up in a patriarchal society, stereotyped daily to believe that men supersede women. While Jane, the Americanised Indian revels in her new found freedom, enjoying her wild, unrestricted free life that would have been impossible in India. The contrast between their predicaments is profound. So great that the author, Bharati Mukherjee deems it necessary to give them different names.

And in today's world, the affect of society on the female status is still plain to see.

Very recently it was widely reported that Amina al-Filali, a 16 year old Moroccan girl, had killed herself after her family forced her to marry a man who had previously raped her. He married her because it is common knowledge that the penal code in many countries (including Morocco), "allows a rapist to stay out of jail if he marries his victim with the consent of her parents" (National Post).

This is not the first time I have heard of such a law, having previously heard about the problem in the book, Half the Sky: How to Change the World. In fact these types of forced marriages are common in many countries. It is only because the girl's suicide sparked a feminist protest that her death was so widely reported.

The man's motive varies but in many cases, if a man's marriage proposal was rejected by the woman he wanted, he would rape her. In certain countries rape is a way of ensuring marriage takes place, since once a woman loses her virginity, she is branded as impure, make it very difficult for her to find another suitor.

Henri Mamarbachi, the author of the article in the National Post supports this by saying, "Families of rape victims who are under 18 often agree to such a union because the loss of a woman’s virginity outside of marriage is considered a dishonour to her family" (National Post).

Amina’s father explained that he had initially opposed the union but his wife insisted. “She said we had to do it so people would stop deriding us, to remove the shame” (National Post).

Society's expectations are the cause of this tragedy. If the belief of man's superiority hadn't existed, this sexist law would have never been passed. Amina would likely have never committed suicide or even raped, since the man would have realised that the risk was too high.

What I want to discover is how the social norm of women's degradation exists. Where it comes from. This is what I hope to confront in one of my following posts.

The Phone Bill

Fact:

Women in general are regarded as being more sociable than men.

Personally, I have always thought that women are more sociable than men. Why? Firstly, because of the common, if not slightly dated story of the phone bill. Have you ever heard of a boy's parents complaining about his phone bill? I haven't. But for daughters, it's another story.

Secondly, according to this article 'women are taking over the social web' all social media platforms, apart from LinkedIn have more female members than male and the gap is only increasing. Just look at this recent poll:

http://smedio.com/2011/06/22/women-are-taking-over-the-social-web/

What this proves is that from the 1950's when the phone began to become mainstream women have dominated methods of communication when used for social purposes. While men of course use telephones a lot as well, more often than not most of the talk is about business. This is further backed up by the fact that the only social networking site that was more popular with men was the business orientated one.

My goal is not to prove that women were indeed more sociable than men. After all it could just be that men interact using different methods like talking face to face.

But then again women do this too. And through the eyes of many men (including my own) women socialise in this regard more than men as well. Just think for example, of the female habit of only going to the bathroom in a group when possible.

Lisa Warren confronted this topic head on, in her article "Why do girls go to the bathroom in pairs or groups", one that I thoroughly recommend you read. Lisa suggested that it was because "restrooms allow for having, or continuing, a conversation. (Why stop a conversation just because someone needs to empty a bladder?)" This suggests that women rely more heavily on their social interactions with other women than men do. The motherly, caring role that women are believed to posses, seems to be shown through the way that women care for each other.

Men on the other hand in general are more brashly behaved to one another and it is for this reason that they may seem to be more autonomous than women.

Another reason that women go in groups more often than men do may simply be in mind of safety. But I agree with Lisa when she says, "Some people suggest that women go to restrooms in pairs and groups because they're worried about freaks hiding in the stalls (and I suppose there could be some subconscious, or conscious, aspect of this). I don't so much think, though, that women make the trip together primarily as a way to keep physically safe. I think it may more often be a psychological/sociological defence mechanism." What Lisa says is true, since even in the smartest restaurants, women still go in groups. What is much more interesting is when Lisa queries the psychological implements that may be at play...

Bad Women

In one of my previous posts titled 'It's Not Women vs Men' I had begun to illustrate how men were not always the persecutors of women. The aunts in A Handmaid's Tale are a great example of this. Instead of despising the sexist ethos of the system and yearning for women's rights, Aunt Lydia, one of the head aunts running the Red Centre supports them. Aunt Lydia delivers impassioned speeches to her 'girls', encouraging them to behave in a docile, subordinate manner not only to herself but to all men in society as well. To any woman reluctant to accept this she simply says, Ordinary, is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary" (43, The Handmaid's Tale). To try and make her 'girls' comply, Aunt Lydia would brainwash her them by telling them how bad life was before and how much better it is now. Unfortunately if they still refused to comply, the Aunts would torture them into submission.

There are many plausible reasons as to why the Aunts chose to become Aunts. They may, as suspected by Moira been cravers of power. They may have even believed in the cause they were working for. But the most likely reason is that being Aunts ensured that they'd be able to retain some degree of freedom. It is also very surprising just how much power the aunts had, especially when this had seemed to be a completely patriarchal society.

The sobering fact is that this is not only true in The Handmaid's Tale but also in the world today. Women continue to subjugate other women, whether through being strongly antifeminist to actually forcing women to behave slavishly.

A book analysing sex trafficking that I am currently reading called Half The Sky: How to Change The World covers this topic extremely well. In it they mention how a large proportion of brothels who imprisoned trafficked girls and made them work as slaves were owned by women. Geeta Ghosh was just one of the girls in the book who had been trafficked by a woman. "A friend's 'aunt' offered to help Geeta and took her to Sonagachi, where the aunt turned out to be a brothel owner. ... 'The madam said, "If you ever try to run away, we'll chop you up and throw the pieces down this drain.'" (31-31, Half the Sky: How to Change The World).

This in particular shocked me. I had always thought, probably because of the stereotypes that I had been exposed to that people in the business of slave trafficking, particularly sex trafficking were all men. I was very wrong.

This just shows how sexist stereotypes still exist today. How many male mobsters can you name? Al Capone, Charles Luciano, Mayer Lansky and today's Salvatore Lo Piccolo. Now how many female ones can you name?

Sure they exist. There are hoards of them in fact. But because of our still sexist society, they have never become famous or idolised. The day that Grand Theft Auto comes out with a female protagonist gangster will be the day that I know sexism in the West is coming to a close.

Select women were allowed to be power figures in the patriarchal society of Giliad. But in the case of the Aunts this was only because they were seen as "the best and most cost-effective way to control women for reproductive and other purposes was through women themselves. ... no empire imposed by force or otherwise has ever been without this feature: control of the indigenous by members of their own group." (320, The Handmaid's Tale). This is why females are used to suppress other women, not only in The Handmaid's Tale but also in modern day life, simply because they are the best at doing it. Otherwise the system would have simply collapsed.

It's not Women vs. Men

Because of the nature of material we have been reading in our Woman's Literature class, many of the topics that have come up in my blogs have had this 'Us vs Them' mentality.

Even though I have recently been talking about sisterhoods and brotherhoods we must not forget that there are many gender neutral groups which exist for the same reasons that sisterhoods and brotherhoods do.

Offred's relationships with the Commander and with Nick in The Handmaid's Tale are examples of this. Offred gave her body and a sense of companionship to both and was duly rewarded. The Commander rewarded her by giving her contraband goods, letting her read and by salving her crave for explanation. Meanwhile Nick provided Offred with the true sense of companionship that she yearned for.

However Nick's relationship with Offred is one which we could more easily call a 'gender neutral' sisterhood since they are both alike, being subservient and disposable. Their relationship is more equal, contrary to the Commander's relationship with her since he took advantage of Offred and there was little risk for himself. Meanwhile, Nick took huge risks by having a relationship with Offred and proved beyond doubt his devotion to her when he risked his own life in order to save hers in chapter 46, the last chapter of the book.

We must also remember that like in today's society, there is no clear cut gender divide in The Handmaid's Tale. If this had been the case, every woman would have been at the bottom of the social ladder while all the men would have been at the top. But it isn't. The lowest ranked man was not above the highest ranked female. Think of the Guardians' measly power in comparison to that of the Wives or Aunts for example.

Surprised? Yes, so am I. But there are a myriad of reasons for this that I will enlighten you upon in one of my future posts called 'Bad Women'.

Where Are the Brotherhoods?

From a man's perspective, sisterhoods seem to be more prevalent than brotherhoods in the pieces I have studied this year. Sisterhoods arise for a multitude of reasons, but the most common cause seems to be the desire to ameliorate one's position by working with others in the same position.

In 'A Jury of Her Peers' there is an obvious bond between the female characters. Mrs Hale and Mrs Peters are sympathetic towards Foster, who is suspected of mariticide. Knowing the husband's faults and sharing a domestic life as well they are able to understand what compelled her to commit such an act.

To the reader and to the men investigating the case Foster's innocence is never likely. But without a key motive, any prosecution is likely to fail. When Mrs Hale and Mrs Peters find the dead bird, they know they have found Mrs Foster's motive for killing her husband. But instead of sharing the find with the men, they simply look at each other. "Mrs. Peters turned her head until her eyes met the eyes of the other woman. There was a moment when they held each other in a steady burning look in which there was no evasion or flinching" (17, A Jury of Her Peers). This is the most powerful part of the story. Throughout the story, Mrs Hale and Mrs Peters have sympathised greatly for her because unlike the men, they appreciate the context. All three woman have experienced the same ilk of treatment and because of their similarities, they create a group, a sisterhood. Mrs Peters and Mrs Hale's sympathy becomes so great that they are compelled to help their other sister, Minnie Foster.

The Handmaid's Tale also maintains sisterhoods as one of its main themes. In the Red Centre, women often helped each other in order to prevent the group being punished as a whole. Moira does this when she forces Janine to stop imagining that she is somewhere else. When Moira says, "You can't let her go slipping over the edge. That stuff is catching" (229, Handmaid's Tale) The reader can assume that Moira didn't just help Janine for her own good. It is more likely that she feared everyone would be punished if Janine was deemed crazy by the aunts.

Offred's relationship with Ofglen is also a sisterhood. Not only because they both risk being punished by talking to each other but also because Ofglen tries to incorporate Offred into the secret Handmaid sisterhood, spurred on by Offred's special relationship with the Commander which could have been a rich source of information. At first Offred is keen to join and provide information, but her attitude changes dramatically once she begins to have a relationship with Nick. "I hardly listen to her, I no longer credit her. The things she whispers seem to me unreal. What use are they, for me, now?" (282, Handmaid's Tale). What that had made Offred so eager to help and become part of the sisterhood are now not so enticing. The things that she had yearned for were things that would improve her situation. But once she gets these things, like gossip and companionship through the Commander and Nick she no longer yearns for other things so much, like freedom.

Ameliorating one's position by working as a group has long been documented in history as causes of bonds being made, whether in the form of brotherhoods or sisterhoods. Because there seem to have been more sisterhoods than brotherhoods in all the stories we have covered, we can therefore assume that women must of been suffering more than the men. After all, in all of the stories that we've read, women have been subjugated by men. But desire to improve one's situation isn't the only cause of sisterhood like groups being created. After all, the men that banded together to subjugate women could have been referred to as brotherhoods. But for some reason, I don't see them as brotherhoods. What do you think?